Snapshot of my afternoon in the park

I came home from school today, exhausted as always, and there was only one thing I wanted to do. I grabbed my Bible and my (borrowed) guitar and headed to the park. I sat down in the grass and prayed it wouldn't pour down rain because I have no guitar case, and of course Jesus held it back for a few hours so I could play away. Lots of people would stop and listen, some would come sit by me, and a few came up to talk to me. I love the random things people say and do, it's one of the reasons I love life so much. And let me tell you, one of the few who stopped to talk left me laughing so hard I wanted to cry. It wasn't because he said anything humorous, it was the fact that our entire conversation from start to finish was so Jesus. And yes, parts were so awkwardly hilarious that I was dying inside, but in the end all I can say is that it was Jesus.

Now that I just described that in the most ambiguous way possible, let me say how it all went down. Note: this all happened in French, so know that this is my best effort at translation.

French dude rides up on his motorcycle, I'm just there sitting in the grass, strumming and singing away.

"Uhh... are you depressed?"

Me- "Excuse me?"

"Are you depressed? You know, sad?"

"No not at all! I'm actually really happy."

"Then how come you're all by yourself in the middle of a park playing guitar?"

"Well, because this is my favorite thing in the whole world to do."

"Do you write your songs?"

"Sure thing."

So he asks me to play one and I do. I told him I only sing in English and he told me he doesn't understand very much English at all. He really liked the song, and apparently, understood it too.

"I think it's about God being in control of everything, yeah?"

Me- "Exactly!"

For a moment he looks thoughtful. Then he just looks at me with a "hmmm" expression. I don't know how else to describe it, it's just a kind of face that French people make.

Then the usual. An invitation to go to a party, I tell him no thanks, he says, "Oh you don't go to parties?"

"Nope. Never, actually." 

"So you're not that kind of girl then?" 

"nope."

He looks impressed. Not impressed as in "woah!" but in the sense that the very thought left an impact on him.

"So I guess I won't get to see you again then?"
I smile. "Sorry."

"But I'm here all the time, I mean playing guitar in the park is my favorite thing to do, remember? So you'll probably see me around."

He looks doubtful, then smiles and says it was nice to meet you. He drives off, and well, I start laughing. So loud. 

I don't know why, but I just know that Jesus was there. I think that somehow, some way, said French dude did some soul searching in that moment. I was just happy to witness it.

Paragliding. It happened.

It's not extremely normal for me to throw down 95 euros to do a one-time thing, but for some reason, I decided paragliding would be more than worth it- and it was!!

When we (my guide and I) jumped off the cliff and entered the realm of midair, I was so overcome with wonder and joy that I started laughing! My guide kept asking me if I was ok, because I would randomly break out into uncontrollable laughter. But it was all I could do. Words weren't enough. Even silence- my go-to expression in moments of awe and admiration- wasn't sufficient. So I just laughed. The Chaîne de Belledone to my left, Chartreuse to my right, and Vercors on the horizon... I could see it all.

The view was unbelievable, that is for certain. But I cannot begin to describe how it felt to float in the air. It was as if gravity didn't exist. Of course it was gravity that softly pulled us in a downward spiral, but there was nothing forceful about it. I felt so exposed to the elements, to life itself.

Then, when my guide asked if I was cool with doing some acrobatics, my life turned upside down, literally. As we somersaulted in the sky, I remember thinking, "This is what it means to be alive." I would do anything to relive that moment. I hope that someday I can. It was short-lived, somewhere between 15 and 20 minutes. But in that time, I felt like I was truly living.

And when I landed, it was back to reality. 

Like waking up from a dream, I wondered if it really happened.

Either way, I'll not be content to just let the moments of life pass me by. I want to feel alive!

Chocolate and wine on my balcony

I think it's interesting that whenever I am by myself in the world, separated from the safety and solace of my Christian bubble back home, I am most likely to draw closer to the Lord. 

Maybe it's because I'm more desperate for him once the support of my friends, church, and family is knocked out from under me. Maybe it's just me imagining things. But I like it. I like knowing that God's got me in the palm of his hand. 

But in the same moment, I really really miss my friends, my church, and my family. I miss those foundational things in life that made me who I am. I couldn't be more grateful.

When words will never be enough, we will say them anyway.

I don't know what to say. Every time I sit down and start to spill what my heart wants to say, it feels so wrong. Like bad grammar or broken English. It doesn't sound out on paper the way I hear it on the inside. All this to say, I experienced incredible things during my 10 days in Ireland. Completing the Wicklow Way was the sort of dream you just assume will never happen to you, because it's too beautiful to turn into reality. But it happened, and I have pictures to prove it!
I met people whose kindness made me rethink the cynical way I view the world; their warm and friendly ways gave me fresh hope for humanity.
I sat on a cliff for 4 hours, just staring into the eyes of the Atlantic Ocean. Jesus sat there with me too. He's the only person I know who would do that- just sit there in silence with me, perfectly content to be in the presence of that kind of majesty.
I also met a lot of lost people. People who have no eyes to see the beauty spread out before them. People who think that good beer, long nights, and lots of friends are as good as it gets. And those are all great things that make life enjoyable, but they are shadows that would instantly disappear in the presence of light. Jesus Christ, knowing him, walking in the presence of the Father of Lights- the moment you wake up to that reality, even the "good" things in life lose that title.
I'm overwhelmed at the opportunity to travel in the country of my dreams. It was everything I ever wanted it to be and more.
Every good and perfect gift comes from the Father of Lights (James 1:17). This was a GOOD gift. And even then, it's probably only a shadow of the good that is still to come.